Life of a First-Time Manager

I haven't updated my blog much lately because I have been so busy with work. Ten-to-twelve hour days for weeks (months?). I billed over 100 hours to a single project in the last two and a half weeks, so I've been just a little bit overwhelmed. But here's the cool thing.

I'm managing the project.

I have one Research Analyst and one other Associate working for me. I have two external, academic technical reviewers that I've had to create subcontracts for. I had to create the schedule, assign tasks, make executive decisions about methodology, and review everyone's work, on top of doing my own analytical work. And it was hard. It was so hard. There were many days that I wished the Principal responsible for this project would just take over. There still are days like that--today was one. I have a million questions about the "right" way to do things. Clients always ask hard questions, and I'm no good at defending issues when the client doesn't agree. I usually end up wanting to crawl under the table and call out, "But I'm only 25! I'm your daughter's age. Why are you asking me for advice? I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING."

But, I guess, I sort of do know what I'm doing. I gave a solid presentation to the Head Honcho Client this morning with no preparation. I literally walked in the door at 8:25 this morning, and my supervisor called me into a meeting to brief Head Honcho on this hugely contentious analysis I'm managing. The Principal for this project was out of the office today, so it was all up to me. I was starving since I always eat breakfast at my desk. But in my hungry, sleepy state, I briefed him on the project and was later complimented by my supervisor. Yay!

And then, about ten minutes after returning to my desk (still without breakfast), I recieved a call from the Normal Client (not Head Honcho). She wanted me to give a briefing via conference call for the rest of her staff, as well as another agency that was expressing some hostility concern about our analysis. Maybe I mentioned that this is a surprisingly contentious analysis? And it sort of exploded over the past week. So I agreed, but then immediately wished the Principal would be there to help. I tried to think of anyone who could help. But everyone who would be remotely helpful was either out of the office (my Principal) or in full day meetings with Head Honcho. In the end, I sent a pathetic email to the other Associate on the project, hinting that he should come for moral support.

I received the best pep talk just before the call. I was explaining to a RA who sits near me how nervous I was, and he said, "You'll be fine. You have a great calm, composed demeanor, even when you're scared. As an Associate, the best you can hope for is that you can fake it well." So, so, so true. And I was hugely relieved to hear that I appeared calm. Really?! Because, inside, I was freaking out!!

Throughout the call, I just kept telling myself: stay calm. And it went really well. I think I sounded sort of professional, but anyhow, I faked it well. I think I was able to allay some of the major concerns in a way that makes this, I hope, a little less contentious process for the client. That is, after all, the primary role of a consultant. Sure, your client wants a specific task completed, but really what they need is for you to Make Their Life A Little Bit Easier. That's my job. Sometimes it's hard to do. But today, I did it.

Now, knock on wood, if I can just get this report complete without going over budget, I will consider my first management experience a smashing success. I may not have slept much for the past few weeks, but when the draft report is published in mid June, I will be one ecstatic girl!